New Year, new me? No thanks.
It’s tempting, isn’t it? To succumb to the never-ending barrage of invitations to toss ourselves on the scrap heap; throw our broken, worn out, unmotivated selves out with the party hats and champagne corks of new year’s eve and trade in for a new model?
It’s also soul destroying.
I’ve tried that but all I can see is what’s not working, not good enough, what needs to be changed/updated/improved/healed/glossed over/toned down/spiffed up/ straightened out/worked on. It’s so depressing – urghhh!
So I’m rebelling.
No new me for 2018.
I’m heading into this year with the current me firmly in the lead. Yes, it’s getting saggy and baggy around the edges and I’m cranky and quick-tempered, a tad selfish, not to mention Fouled-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional (did you know that’s what FINE stands for??!!).
I’m broken and cracked, still carrying the scars of past hurts, unhealed wounds and an unhealthy need to be liked and approved of (not to mention my obsession with ankle boots, winter scarves, and finding the perfect cup of tea), but I’m learning that’s OK.
This New Year I’ve decided to head into 2018 just as I am. No trade in for a newer, fresher, more perfect model, just a healthy dose of reality, humor and willingness to upcycle and improve what I’ve got and who I am.
I’m embracing my cracks (of which there are many), flaws (just ask my kids), hurts (old and new), and insecurities (don’t get me started). If God loves me just as I am then who am I to not love me this way?If God loves me just as I am then who am I to not love me this way? Click To Tweet
Is there room for some honest evaluation and self-improvement?
Will I work on the broken, selfish and painful places?
Do I want to be slower to anger and quicker to listen?
But this year I won’t be ditching the entirety of who I am in a veiled attempt to create a whole new me. I’ll be doing it all through the cracks and scars of imperfection, right now, today, not through a shiny new exterior that will have faded by February.
I’m aiming for Niki 2.0 – with a few of the bugs, kinks and flaws ironed out.
I’ll be doing my darndest to let God in and see where He wants to start.
It will it be messier, slower, and way less perfect, but I’m hoping it will bear fruit; fruit that will last, and that’s the best kind of fruit.
I’ve been inspired by Emily P Freeman writing about what worked and what didn’t in 2017. She, in turn, was inspired by Anne Bogel and Amy Porterfield. So, in my January newsletter, I’ll share what helped and what didn’t when life was tougher than a cowboy’s boot in 2017, and what I’ll be taking into this bright new year.
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