My strength can be my biggest weakness.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a body builder able bench press a small country. I’m just pretty tough emotionally; like a true Brit I keep calm and carry on, my stiff, and perfectly bleached, upper lip holding fast.
I tough it out, I suck it up, I plough on through and keep going. There’s a dogged determination when I get my teeth into something. I’m reasonably good at most stuff, and if I’m not good at it, I find a way to get good at it or don’t try all. So on the whole, I’m a strong nut.
Hardy by name, Hardy by nature, that’s me.
It’s not like I don’t have any weaknesses. Oh no. Hiding at the back of my closet, behind my super hero outfits, I have boxes of Achilles’ heels lurking there, persuading me they’re invisible, claiming people won’t like me if they see me as weak.
But where’s the room for God in all that?
In my weakness, He is strong. Isn’t that what the bible says?
Yet my strength, and my stiff upper lip, don’t allow much room for His.
Do we live in a culture that celebrates weakness and holds a ticker-tape parade for the one who can’t do it?
Not so much.
About a month after my diagnosis my hubby and I were coping brilliantly ~ too brilliantly. Outwardly we were both “fine” yet inwardly we were not only falling apart, but growing apart. In our desire to love and protect one another from the shrapnel of my cancer bomb, we were being strong; way too strong.
There’s definitely a time and a place for holding it together, but by pitching our tents in Camp Strong, we eventually took up permanent residence. Stuck there, ashamed of my weakness, I convinced us both I was coping and doing just fine. Believing my Oscar worthy performance Al kindly gave me the space he assumed I craved.
But I wasn’t okay. I was hurting, afraid, tired, and desperately needed a hug, and Al’s distance just made it worse. I was miserable – too stubborn to ask, too intent on staying strong, and afraid of appearing weak, I assumed Al didn’t care.
Inside my strong outer shell I slowly turned bitter and angry.
Finally, in desperation, I pulled on my big girl undies and admitted my weakness and vulnerability, letting God and Al into my inner workings. My buried fears and hurts, along with the assumption he didn’t care, came tumbling out in emotional avalanche. Oh how wrong I was. My desperate attempt to appear strong and shield us from my emotions, had pushed away the one person I needed the most. My determination to protect us almost destroyed us.
Finally, in my weakness God could move in strength.
Being vulnerable saved our relationship. It allowed us to reset the clock, talk honestly about our emotions and needs, and move forward in connection and trust. But most of all it allowed God into the mess. Ultimately it brought us closer together. My fake bravado was a plastic fantastic strength that cracked at the first sign of pressure. When my strength was actually God’s strength set loose by my weakness and vulnerability, it was the real deal, and lead us into so much more.When my strength was God's strength pouring out of my weakness and vulnerability, it was the real… Click To Tweet
So there it is. Weakness, you’ve been busted. There’s nowhere to hide. They can all see you.
It’s time to come out, be counted and let God do what He does best.
In Him I am strong, and so are you.
You can do whatever He’s asked of you, however weak you feel, because He’s the strong one.You can do whatever He's asked of you, however weak you feel, because He's the strong one. Click To Tweet
Maybe He’s asked you to hold tight as the storms of cancer or loss rage around you. Perhaps He’s asked you to trust Him with your finances or with finding Mr Right. Whatever it is, you can do it; not because of your strength but because of His.
Do you have a wardrobe of superhero costumes, too? Perhaps yours is SuperMum or Supertogether Woman, or perhaps you are Wonderful Woman? What’s your biggest strength? Could it be your biggest weakness?
Do you have weakness monsters hiding in your closet, too? If you do, join the club.
Let’s turn on the light and set them free!
40 Bible Verses to Show How Much God Loves You
To help you counter those pesky lies we tell ourselves (about being too weak, unloved, not good enough and without hope) I’ve written you a love letter from God. It’s 40 bible verses to show how much God loves you and how special you are to Him. You can download it HERE and read it in the car, in the bath, or each morning before you head boldly into your day.
From me, to you with love. xx